Sunday, 3 March, 1968, 164 days.
I got up at 1230 hrs. and missed both breakfast and lunch. After taking a quick shower I went to Mass at 1300 hrs. with Rublay. After Mass Pete drove me to the gym. I felt sluggish but I still benched 325 lbs. for 6 reps. Since my training partner, Frank Ryan got shipped out to Vietnam last summer I’ve been working out by myself. I don’t like doing it that way, but working out has been a part of my life since I first started lifting weights back in High School.
The reason why I started lifting weights in the first place was to survive public school after going to Catholic school for eight years. My first year at Fitzgerald High, taught me that the only way to make it through the day without getting beat up and pushed around, was to learn to fight. Since I was only 5’7″ and had only wrestled for fun with my friends up to that point, I knew that I had to get stronger.
My next door neighbor, Leo Yescusky, was in his mid twenties, and lifted weights in his garage, so I asked him if he would teach me how to do it. He was glad to show me and we became training partners. Within a few months I went from benching 70 lbs. For 8 reps to 200 lbs. for 8 reps. He also had me doing squats, deadlifts, power cleans, curls, roman chair sit-ups and running.
One day after New Year in 1962 I decided to go out for the wrestling team and weighed about 140 lbs. at the time so I was in the 138 lb. class. Since I had been lifting weights and running for the past six months I was stronger and had more stamina than most of the other team members. After I was on the wrestling team I felt more accepted and even began to date one of the girls in my class named Sheila McEnany. She was a junior varsity cheerleader at the time and usually wore her long blonde hair in a ponytail just like in the song.
My Freshman year at Fitzgerald high I had a mix of classes between Industrial and College Prep with woodshop, drafting and Social Science in the morning and Biology, English and Algebra in the afternoon. By my Sophomore year I was firmly entrenched and some of my friends turned sixteen and got their drivers license. One of my jock friends had rich parents who bought him a brand new 1963 Plymouth Sport Fury with a Golden Commando engine.
Sheila and I dated all through high school and I guess you could say we were going steady but we never announced it. I didn’t date other people and neither did Sheila so many people thought that we would get married after we graduated. I felt love for Sheila but didn’t want to get married yet and told her so one day at the beginning of our senior year. That was the last time that Sheila talked to me and I never dated anyone else from Fitzgerald high after that. When the prom took place I took a girl that attended Denby high in Detroit that I met through one of my friends from Saint Marks.
After I Finished my workout I took a bus back to the barracks and finally got there at 1800 hrs. I missed dinner, so around 1830 hrs. Rublay and I went to the NCO club for dinner. When we got there Don and Gary Williams were already there, so we sat with them, at one of the big round tables that seat eight and ordered dinner and had a few drinks. After dinner the Williams’s started talking about the drug problem in our unit.
“There are some guys who smoke pot in our unit.” Gary Williams said and continued. “It’s eating away like a cancer everywhere. I was reading an article about it in “The Stars & Stripes” that say’s it’s even becoming a problem in Viet Nam. How are we going to defeat the Communists if we’re destroying ourselves from within.”
“Who are the guilty one’s in our unit?” I asked.
“Between you and me.” He lowered his voice and he leaned over to me and cupped his hand over his mouth. “I think that the ringleader is Larry Perry. I’m not sure about what other guys are involved, but it’s probably troublemakers like Smart, Stryder and Howell.”
Afterwards Rublay and I went to base theater #1 to see P.J. When we got there, I told Rublay to go on ahead and get the tickets, and I’d be right there. Rublay didn’t get high and I wanted to smoke a joint before we went in.
We got back to the barracks at around 2200 hrs. just in time for lights out. There were three MP vehicles parked outside when we got there. Someone in the 4/46th tried to commit suicide and they already took him to the hospital in the ambulance. His wife sent him a dear John letter yesterday and he’d been drinking for 30 hours straight. Most of the time, the guys who live in the barracks are single, since if they were married they could live off base with their spouses, and get an extra housing allowance. I guess that for whatever reason this guy’s wife stayed back home, while he was stationed here at Ft. Sill.
After lights out at 2200 hrs., sometimes we all lay in our bunks and talk about life in general or the latest gossip. John Meadows, the Chaplain’s assistant, bunks next to me. We’re both on the lower bunk and sometimes we have our own private conversation. Tonight, because of the suicide attempt, religion, which is John’s specialty fit right in.
“It’s too bad about that guy in the 4/46th trying to kill himself.” I said, to see what Meadows would say.
“Yeah.” John answered. “Sometimes it’s hard to deal with life, especially if you’re drinking.”
“But sometimes that’s the only way that some people can handle life.” I told him.
“What kind of a life is that?” He answered. “That’s the time to turn to God. When things get too hard to handle on our own, then you turn to God.”
“That’s just a cop out.” I answered. “They only turn to God when things are bad.”
“Sometimes the bad things that happen are like sign posts pointing us in the right direction.” John said. “Life is a very precarious and delicate thing, and the only way that we can safely traverse it, is by faith. We don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, or next year or if we’ll have a long life forty years from now, but God does, and He’ll see us through it all if we let Him. However, first we must acknowledge the fact that God exists and that he has a plan for our life. The reason why the church exists is to act as a womb that people can enter to be born again as new creatures. It exists for one reason and that is to act as a sanctuary for change to safely take place. It’s where you can talk about failures, dreams and spiritual things with others and receive council and direction.”
After I finished my cigarette, I turned towards my wall locker that was just a black shadow and thought about his words. I must have finally drifted off to sleep around 2300 hrs.
♪Jesus♬Rocks♬The♬World♪ 
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