Tuesday, May 14, 1968, 92 Days
The wave carried us to its crest. When I looked over the side of the ship, it must have been a mile down to the bottom. At that moment I realized that the ship would be completely destroyed, and everyone on board was going to be killed or drowned, including me, when it dropped and took my breath away. When we reached the bottom another wave took us up again. The ship was a 19th century sailing rig, like in Moby Dick, and I realized that I was on a whaling ship.
The whale that we were chasing reached its mother, who was of immense size, and she caused the waves, in a fit of rage. Time seemed to stand still as we sat perched on the crest of the gigantic wave. I had time to think about the situation, and I concluded that death was inevitable, so I completely resigned myself to it and dove off the side of the ship, into the canyon between the waves.
On the eternal drop to the bottom I accepted that the wave would cover me and wipe out any clue of my existence. I felt a peace about this that was beyond anything that I had ever known which gave me joy beyond description. Suddenly I understood what the Christian Martyrs must have felt when they walked out into the Roman amphitheater, where they would be devoured by wild animals. Just as I was ready to hit the bottom where the crashing waves would completely consume me I woke up. It was 0545 hrs.
I put on yesterdays fatigues, which still looked pretty good and fell out for reveille. Everyone was present and accounted for like they are every day, because most of the guys in headquarters battery are pretty level headed and have jobs as clerk typists or specialty jobs that require above average intelligence, so most guys think things through before they do them, which eliminates most stupid decisions. Most of the time AWOL’s are because of women. It doesn’t matter if they are spouses or girlfriends the end result always seems to be the same, because all those decisions are based on emotion rather than logic.
After reveille I went to breakfast and was voraciously hungry. Holster was head cook this morning, but he didn’t give me any shit. I had 2 broken yolk and fried hard eggs, along with 4 slices of French toast and bacon, orange juice and coffee. I was still going over the dream in my mind. I didn’t say too much during breakfast, and didn’t stop thinking about it until after 0730 hrs. Some dreams stick with you longer than others, but I like to write them down. This diary gives me a better opportunity to do that. At the same time I remember childhood dreams that I had when I was 3 or 4 years old that terrified or impressed me to the point that I still remember them.
After work formation I had to paint the air conditioners at the Blockhouse this morning. They wanted them all to be the same olive drab color that the rest of the walls were. Since the color matched the walls, SGM Ripley told me to spot paint. The next thing I was waiting to hear was “while you’ve got a brush in your hand why don’t you repaint the blockhouse.”
I feel better today than I did yesterday. I don’t feel as dizzy anyway. The real test will be how I feel when I work out. It’s a nice day out today and it’s warm and finally clear out for a change. I went to classes this afternoon and the subject was supply and the way that it impacts the rest of the operations. Everything from requisitioning to convoy deployment was covered by Sgt. TaLouse` and Lt. Philemon, but I was called out of them at 1600 hrs. to go cut the grass at the barracks.
After chow I took a bus to the gym and the lock was still on my locker, so I opened it and hung up another set of fatigues as I changed into my workout clothes. I still didn’t feel 100%, but then I was just going to be doing a light workout to concentrate on form. Larger wanted to come with me, but he couldn’t because he had to attend some kind of training for his MOS. I only did a few sets of 10 reps on the bench presses with 225 lbs. and then 10 reps on squats with 315 lbs. and the same with deadlift’s for 335 lbs..
The veterans came in while I was finishing up my deadlifts. They asked me how I was feeling and if I had a concussion. I told them that the doctor said no, but that I kept feeling dizzy and had a voracious appetite, along with a craving for sweet things.
I took a shower at the gym and waited for the guys to finish their workouts and then we went to the NCO club for drinks that they owed me. I ordered a Zombie. They had a four piece rock band playing. They were okay, but were mostly doing covers of Buddy Holly and early Beatles songs, like I Want To Hold Your Hand. Herman said that he was going to get out instead of re-upping this time.
“The shit’s starting to hit the fan in Viet Nam.” He said. “Since the Democrats have gotten us into this quagmire, the Republicans will win the presidency, and escalate the war until we either win or incinerate all the Gooks, along with our own men.”
“Don’t you think that Kennedy will win?” I asked. “The country is still nostalgic about his brother.”
“He doesn’t even have the party nomination yet.” Herman said, “and then he’s got to beat the Republican candidate, whoever that may be. The main issue will be the war, and the Democrats have fucked it up.”
“I’d like to see George Wallace become President.” Krell said.
“A racist like him will never get it.” Herman said. “The only people that’ll vote for him are other racist’s. We might as well elect the ‘Grand Wizard” of the KKK. The Army used to be a good career choice, until they started building up the army so fast that they promote idiots, because they have to fill the slots. I didn’t make E-4 until my third year but now new recruits make E-4 before they have 6 months in.”
Kincade added, “one thing to remember is that Wallace is not a racist, he’s a segregationist and there is a difference between the two. A racist is someone who hates someone who isn’t of the same race as them. A segregationist is someone who believes that the races shouldn’t mix but be separate but equal.”
Herman argued that music was the first thing that proved that argument wrong, especially with collaborations from the 30’s and 40’s between people like Louis Armstrong and Bing Crosby or Jack Teagarden. Then all you had to do was look at rock and roll with examples like the Butterfield Blues Band, Electric Flag and even the Jimi Hendrix Experience. Then there is the most obvious example, right here in the United States army, so I don’t think that Wallace will get elected. After another Zombie they drove me to the barracks, at around 2045 hrs.
When I got back to the barracks Meadows asked me if I wanted to go to McDonalds with him to get something to eat, since he borrowed Van Buerans car. We talked about the Gospels that I’d been reading on and off for the past couple of months, in between novels. I told him that I was almost done with Mark, but it seemed almost identical to Matthew.
“That’s because Matthew, Mark and Luke are called the synoptic gospels.” He said. “They were all written using the same source material, so they are similar in content. Wait until you get to the gospel of John. That’s completely different. We talked about how different the Old and New Testaments were. I feel that the God of the Old Testament is a vindictive bastard, while the God of the New Testament is a more loving deity.
We got back to the base around 2200 hrs., and I got ready to turn in. Ever since I bashed my head the other day, I’m always tired and hungry, and have lost interest in things that were important to me. I have to push myself harder than before to do anything. I lay on my bunk, in the dark, smoking my last Chesterfield, while I thought about all of this, until I fell asleep.
♪Jesus♬Rocks♬The♬World♪ 